Joke of the Day
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Author:  bsand2053 [ October 9th, 2006, 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 


This is one of the most hilarious things I have seen in while. Some blogger took one of Foley's IM conversations and invented messages from the boy. It takes time, but it is well worht it.

This is just a small part of it, and it gets better.

Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing
Editorz (8:04:10 PM): in the dream? Just my Quasimodo costume
Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Editorz (8:04:37 PM): yeah, it?s my hunchback hump
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Editorz (8:04:50 PM): and my Friar Tuck robes
Editorz (8:04:56 PM): say, what?s the second verse to ?Oh, Yeah? by Yello?
Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you
Editorz (8:05:13 PM): no, that?s not it
Editorz (8:05:33 PM): speaking of Friar Tuck, did you ever see the Disney Robin Hood cartoon?
Editorz (8:05:33 PM): with Robin Hood the fox, and King John the lion, and Little John the Bear
Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
Editorz (8:06:10 PM): yeah, there was a snake but I don?t remember if his name was Graham

Author:  jomo269 [ October 9th, 2006, 10:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. How you people can find humor in the fact that little boys were probaly abused is insane. To hell with the Senator. What makes you people think this is funny. You actually think it is funny to be sodomized. Everyone I saw on that website thought that this was the funniest thing they had ever seen. Goverment gone wrong society gone wrong, why can't we take care of our own people. Just pray to god that your children are spared.

Author:  bsand2053 [ October 9th, 2006, 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

jomo269 wrote:
This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. How you people can find humor in the fact that little boys were probaly abused is insane. To hell with the Senator. What makes you people think this is funny. You actually think it is funny to be sodomized. Everyone I saw on that website thought that this was the funniest thing they had ever seen. Goverment gone wrong society gone wrong, why can't we take care of our own people. Just pray to god that your children are spared.

I'm sorry but I disagree. No one is trying to trivialize sodomy. They are ridiculing Foley. I don't see the harm in that. By your token, thinking a Monica joke is funny would be the same as thinking that adultery is funny.

Author:  LionFan57 [ October 10th, 2006, 8:28 am ]


A man goes to the Lucas Carlton in Paris with his girlfriend and orders the 1928 Mouton. The waiter returns with a decanter full of wine, pours a small amount in the glass for tasting.

The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud. "This is not the 1928 Mouton."

The waiter assures him it is, and soon there is another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager of the hotel, trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.

Finally someone asks him how he knows, it is not the 1928 Mouton.

"My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I made the wine."

Consternation erupts and finally the original waiter steps forward and embarrassed, he admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928 and says, "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You own Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."

Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another in the other opening, and smell the difference that a small matter of geographic location can make."

Author:  jomo269 [ October 10th, 2006, 4:22 pm ]
Post subject: 

Now that was funny! I'm sorry about my earlier rant. I have a brother-in-law that is currently imprisoned for child molestation so that makes this subject a sore spot for me. I also believe that you cannot compare sodomy of a minr and adultery

Author:  bsand2053 [ October 10th, 2006, 7:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

Don't worry about it Jomo.

But more to the point of the thread...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.

He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little f*cker on your knee!"

Author:  jomo269 [ October 11th, 2006, 3:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

LMAO, now that was a good one.

Author:  LionFan57 [ October 22nd, 2006, 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Wife in a Coma.

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

The nurses run back into the room.

"What happened!?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure....maybe she choked?

Author:  TheRealWags [ October 23rd, 2006, 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

An oldie, but a goodie!!!!

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Author:  LionFan57 [ November 7th, 2006, 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Riddle

Here is a riddle for the true intellectual. Try to come up with the answer on your own. The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think this one through.

At the exact same time, there are two 35 year old men on opposite sides of the world. One is walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers. The other is getting a blow job from an 85-year-old woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing.

What are they thinking?

Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down....

Author:  conversion02 [ November 9th, 2006, 10:43 pm ]
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Some spammer posted this, so I figured what the hell.

douchebagspammer wrote:
The Blondes.
1.Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make.
A. A wind tunnel.

2.Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours.
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

3.Q. When is a blonde going to say something smart.
A. When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me...

4.Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain.
A. Gifted.

5.Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette.
A. Artificial intelligence.

6.Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks.
A. It takes too long to retrain them.

7.Q. What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
A. Nothing. They've never met.

Questions and answers about men.
1.Q. What do you call a man with half a brain.
A. Gifted.

2.Q. What is the thinnest book in the world.
A. "What Men Know About Women."

3.Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb.
A. One ... men will screw anything.

4.Q. How does a man take a bubble bath.
A. He eats beans for dinner.

5.Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper.
A. We don't know .... it's never happened...

6.Q. What is a man's idea of helping with the housework.
A. Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

7.Q. What's the difference between a man and E.T..
A. E.T. phoned home.

8.Q. What did God say after creating man.
A. I can do better.

9.Q. What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business.
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.

10.Q. How is a man like a snowstorm.
A. Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.

11.Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking.
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

13.Q. How do men sort their laundry.
A. "Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

14.Q. Husband. "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
A. Wife. "You wear briefs, don't you."

Girls vs boys.

Girls' English.
1.Yes. = No.
2.No. = Yes.
3.Maybe. = No.
4."It's your decision." = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
5."Do what u want." = You'll pay 4 this later.
6."We need to talk." = I need to bitch.
7.Sure. Go ahead. = I don't want you too.
8.I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron.
9.How much do u love me? = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.
10.Is my butt fat? = Tell me i'm beautiful.
11.You have to learn to communicate! = Just agree with me.
12.Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead.

Guy's English.
1.I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
2.I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
3.I'm tired. = I'm tired.
4.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
5.Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
6.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
7.May I have this dance? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
8.Nice dress. = Nice cleavage.
9.You look tensed, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
10.What's wrong? = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?
11.What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
12.I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
13.I love you. = Let's have sex right now.
14.I love you too. = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!
15.Let's talk. = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
16.Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys

Author:  bsand2053 [ November 10th, 2006, 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 

Figures a spammer would post such lame jokes

Author:  WarEr4Christ [ November 10th, 2006, 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

While trying to escape through Pakistan , Osama Bin Laden found a
bottle on the sand picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from
the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you
know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."
The shocked genie said, "Please,I must grant you a wish or I will be
returned to that bottle forever." Osama thought a moment, then grumbled
about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to
awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do
it and be off with you." The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and
disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena
Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side.
His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health

Author:  m2karateman [ November 10th, 2006, 8:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

A teacher in grade school was in front of her English class.
"I would like for you to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Is there anyone who would like to try?" she asked.
A young girl raised her hand quite quickly.
"Yes, Susan, can you use the word fascinate in a sentence?"
"Yes ma'am" Susan replied.
"My parents, brother and I went to Yellowstone this summer. We were fascinated by Old Faithful."
"That was very good," said the teacher "but I want you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated."
A young boy then raised his hand.
"OK, Jeremy." responded the teacher "Tell us your sentence."
"While English is a good class," said the boy "I find science more fascinating."
The teacher answered, "That was good, but once again, I want you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated or fascinating."
A long pause then followed, and suddenly a young man in the back of the class excitedly raised his hand. It was Little Johnny. The teacher hesitated, knowing that Johnny had burned her before in such a circumstance. But no other students raised their hands, and after a quick review of possible responses, the teacher decided it was safe to allow Johnny to answer.
"OK, Johnny, let's see if you know how to use the word fascinate in a sentence."
Little Johnny responded "My Aunt Gina has a pretty sweater that has ten buttons in the front. But her tits are so big, she can only fasten eight.

Author:  LionFan57 [ November 19th, 2006, 5:52 pm ]


This Is AMAZING!!!

Until now I never fully understood how to tell the difference Between Male and Female Birds.

I always thought it had to be determined surgically.

Until Now...

Which of The Two Birds Is a Female???

Below are Two Birds. Study them closely...

See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.


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