Joined: August 6th, 2004, 5:43 pm
Location: Shelby Twp. MI
An open letter from the commisioner to all FFL players.
FROM THE COMMISH
Welcome to the <insert league name>.
Since the first step in dominating your league is the drafting of a strong squad. Here are five critical strategy tips for your upcoming draft. The only assumption, made here, is that you will be conducting the draft at your favorite pub (Is there really any other place to do it at?).
If you adhere to these tips, you are sure to be the ?hit of the draft?.
TIP 1. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO BRING........ MONEY.
Not just to pay for your entry fee, but also to buy drinks. Not only for yourself, but more importantly, for the league commissioner. If questions/conflicts arise during the year, the commish is more likely to rule in your favor if you plied him with his favorite libation at the draft. Other than that, fantasy cheat sheets, magazines, paper and pencil and any technical analysis that you might be tempted to use are really arbitrary and are only needed if you want to appear ?geeky?. The other owners will be much more impressed if you complete your draft from memory.
TIP 2. ARRIVE EARLY, GRAB A SEAT, AND ORDER A DRINK (SEE TIP #1 ABOVE.)
Like any other athletic endeavor, a proper warm up regimen is absolutely necessary. A fantasy Football draft is no different. You really can?t be expected to make good decisions if you are all up-tight. Will ?so and so be there in the fourth round? becomes less important, if you just ?go with the flow? from your glass into your mouth. I know of nothing better than alcohol to improve your decision making process. And again don?t forget Tip #1.
TIP 3. DON?T BE AFRAID TO GAMBLE.
If you really think that Tim Brown is the steal of the draft, take him with your first pick. Why take a chance that someone else is as brilliant as you. You will never forgive yourself if you let him fall to a later round and he disappears off the board right before you were going to take him. Don?t worry about the sarcastic comments. What do they know? After all, he is ?the steal of the draft?. And, right after drafting him, reward yourself by ordering another drink. And of course, don?t forget Tip #1.
TIP 4. DON?T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT PAYING ATTENTION.
There will be plenty of folks that will be more than willing to remind you if ?so and so? was taken in the last round. Any sarcasm or disdain you detect is just ?good natured fun? and can be dealt with immediately by using the following strategy:
Select a player that you had planned to draft much later. After all you need back-ups too, and you can be pretty much assured that he will still be available. Again remember to reward yourself by ordering another drink and don?t forget the hard working commish.
I am a little reluctant to reveal this last tip, but I am a very giving person. So, here is a very astute strategy if you are really serious about winning.
TIP 5. DRAFT YOUR KICKER, D/S TEAM AND TIGHT END EARLY IN THE DRAFT.
Ignore all those experts who tell you that these are not important positions. What do they know? If you are smart enough to take these positions starting in the third round (fourth at the latest), you will invariably wind up with the best player (team) at these three positions. This will give you a huge advantage during the season in all of your close games.
After the draft is over, don?t forget to reward your hard working commish by once again referring to TIP 1.
In me you can see that time of year when a few yellow leaves or none at all hang. In me you can see the glowing embers that lie upon the ashes remaining from the flame of my youth. So, respect more deeply that which you must give up before long.