View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently September 17th, 2014, 11:49 pm



Reply to topic  [ 396 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 27  Next
 Joke of the Day 
Author Message
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pm
Posts: 9864
Location: Where ever I'm at now
Post Joke of the Day
Hey Mods, why don't we make this topic a sticky so people can find it and post their jokes here?!


I'll Bet you a Case of.......

Three guys were working on a high-rise building project
Steve, Bruce and Stanley.
Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says,
"Someone should go and tell his wife."
Stanley says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Fosters.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Stan?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Stanley replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead
and she gave you the beer?"
"Well not exactly," Stanley says. "When she answered the door, I said to
her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.
She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'
And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Fosters you are'


October 2nd, 2006, 2:22 pm
Profile
Hall of Fame Player
User avatar

Joined: April 5th, 2005, 7:03 am
Posts: 7411
Location: Ford Field - 35 yard line / Row 32
Post 
That's a good one!! :lol:

_________________
Image


October 2nd, 2006, 2:39 pm
Profile WWW
Fired Head Coach (0-16 record)
User avatar

Joined: October 30th, 2004, 12:30 pm
Posts: 2205
Location: Austin, TX
Post 
GW, Laura and Dick Cheney were all flying on Air Force One and GW goes and says.. " I could throw a thousand dollar bill out the plane and make one person happy" Laura goes " Oh yeah?! I can throw 10 one undred dollar bills out the plane and make 10 people happy." Dick says, " I can beat all of ya.. I can throw out 100 ten dollar bills and make 100 people happy."

The capt of the plane over hears this and turns to his co-pilot and says.. "You here them 3 back there gloating? Well, I can throw all 3 of them out and make 56 million people happy"

_________________
Image

NEVER GIVE UP!


October 2nd, 2006, 6:01 pm
Profile
QB Coach
User avatar

Joined: October 26th, 2005, 11:48 pm
Posts: 3039
Location: Elkhart, In.
Post 
President Bush and V.P. Cheney were dining out for lunch one afternoon. The waitress approaches the tables and asks the two men what they will be having this afternoon. V.P. Cheney does the responsible thing and orders a healthy vegetarian plate. The waitress then looks at President Bush and asks for his order. He says, " Well young lady, I think I'll have a quickie." The waitress is stunned, her face turns white, and then red. She looks at the President, and says, " To think I voted for you, you should be ashamed of yourself Mr. President," and then storms off.
Stunned, President Bush looks at Dick Cheney who kindly informs the President, "Hey George, I believe thats pronounced Quiche."

_________________
2 Chronicles 10:14, "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."


October 2nd, 2006, 6:55 pm
Profile
Hall of Fame Player
User avatar

Joined: April 5th, 2005, 7:03 am
Posts: 7411
Location: Ford Field - 35 yard line / Row 32
Post Funny prank by a couple of priests
Short video.

Watch these two priests pull off this funny gag in this candid camera type skit.

Click Here: The Priests Gag

This is funny!

:lol:

_________________
Image


October 2nd, 2006, 8:53 pm
Profile WWW
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: June 26th, 2006, 1:03 pm
Posts: 13429
Post 
> "How we do Laundry in Ohio"
>
> One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash
> his
> sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to his
> wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the
> shirt?"
> He yelled back, "University of Michigan"
> "Use Hot Water, a box of Tide and four cups bleach."

_________________
regularjoe12 - "You are crackin me up! really! HILARIOUS um let me quote some intellgent people in this coneversation: Steensn:"


October 3rd, 2006, 9:18 am
Profile
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pm
Posts: 9864
Location: Where ever I'm at now
Post 
Funny, in Michigan if the shirt says Ohio State, the wife says "burn it and I'll buy you a better (Michigan) one."

Hehehehehehehe.

_________________
Driver of the 'we need a coaching change' bandwagon. Climb aboard.


October 3rd, 2006, 10:05 am
Profile
Hall of Fame Player
User avatar

Joined: April 5th, 2005, 7:03 am
Posts: 7411
Location: Ford Field - 35 yard line / Row 32
Post 
steensn wrote:
> "How we do Laundry in Ohio"
>
> One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash
> his
> sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to his
> wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the
> shirt?"
> He yelled back, "University of Michigan"
> "Use Hot Water, a box of Tide and four cups bleach."



You must be on the same mailing list I'm on. I just recieved a similar joke. :lol:

_________________
Image


October 3rd, 2006, 10:47 am
Profile WWW
Hall of Fame Player
User avatar

Joined: April 5th, 2005, 7:03 am
Posts: 7411
Location: Ford Field - 35 yard line / Row 32
Post Dear Abby
Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?

I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between
the rear head and rocker arm cover.

So... is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer?

_________________
Image


October 3rd, 2006, 10:48 am
Profile WWW
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: June 26th, 2006, 1:03 pm
Posts: 13429
Post 
LionFan57 wrote:
steensn wrote:
> "How we do Laundry in Ohio"
>
> One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash
> his
> sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to his
> wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the
> shirt?"
> He yelled back, "University of Michigan"
> "Use Hot Water, a box of Tide and four cups bleach."



You must be on the same mailing list I'm on. I just recieved a similar joke. :lol:



I just got it this morning from a friend, lol. I bet we can trace it back!!!

_________________
regularjoe12 - "You are crackin me up! really! HILARIOUS um let me quote some intellgent people in this coneversation: Steensn:"


October 3rd, 2006, 11:44 am
Profile
Fired Head Coach (0-16 record)
User avatar

Joined: January 6th, 2005, 10:54 am
Posts: 2274
Location: South Quad- Ann Arbor
Post 
steensn wrote:
> "How we do Laundry in Ohio"
>
> One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash
> his
> sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
> shouted to his
> wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
> "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the
> shirt?"
> He yelled back, "University of Michigan"
> "Use Hot Water, a box of Tide and four cups bleach."


Image

_________________
"If he isn't the best football player, the best runner, that the Lord has ever made, then the Lord has yet to make one." Wayne Fontes on Barry.
Image


October 4th, 2006, 9:17 pm
Profile WWW
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pm
Posts: 9864
Location: Where ever I'm at now
Post Marriage and compliments
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance......"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,

"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

He never heard the shot....

_________________
Driver of the 'we need a coaching change' bandwagon. Climb aboard.


October 6th, 2006, 10:24 am
Profile
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pm
Posts: 9864
Location: Where ever I'm at now
Post Democratic Convention Agenda
Just Released - Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan-- Susan Sarandon.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender-- French President Jacques Chirac

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund

9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay .. Sean Penn

9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore

9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

10:00 P.M. How George bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers-- Howard Dean

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet

11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals-- John Kerry

11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

_________________
Driver of the 'we need a coaching change' bandwagon. Climb aboard.


October 6th, 2006, 10:26 am
Profile
Online
RIP Killer
User avatar

Joined: January 26th, 2005, 9:34 pm
Posts: 10290
Location: Sycamore, IL
Post 
This was my buddy's "Joke for the past 50 years"
.
.
.
The Lions

I couldn't argue it though...outside of Barry :cry:

_________________
_____
I have no faith this team will win a game the rest of the year. The kitties finish at 7-9 and Miss the playoffs as GB wins out and takes it from the kitties.
Image


October 6th, 2006, 10:29 am
Profile
Hall of Fame Player
User avatar

Joined: April 5th, 2005, 7:03 am
Posts: 7411
Location: Ford Field - 35 yard line / Row 32
Post First Celebrity Victim of Spinach E-Coli
First Celebrity Victim of Spinach E-Coli


Image

_________________
Image


October 6th, 2006, 3:14 pm
Profile WWW
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 396 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 27  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.